Search Request Thursday

A rather interesting batch this time out, I thought:

lavatory mpg: Man, the last thing on Earth that I want to listen to the sound of is a lavatory.

"betty's brain" home: Actually, my brain isn't at home at the moment. I'd advise trying again later.

bunion chat line: Hello, you've reached 976-BUNION! All our feet are busy right now, but please stay on the line...

"bill maher" "indoor cat": "Bill Maher" would be kind of a cool name for a cat.

wicked ass pitbull terrier: It may just be me being cynical, but this immediately makes me think of that peculiarly pathetic breed of guy who thinks having a vicious dog will somehow make up for his own state of weenie-ass loserhood.

aeryn sopping: Been standing out in the rain again, has she?

naming generator for sci fi films: I think a random generator would actually do better than some of the crappy titles Hollywood comes up with.

Ragan Nude: You don't want to see that. Really.

phooey hairball wav: I never thought of that hairball-coughing sound as "phooey" exactly... But I guess it's close enough.

Online Vulcan Fanfiction stories with Spock in them: I was going to say that I imagined it might be more difficult to find Vulcan fanfiction stories that didn't have Spock in them, but I expect I might be showing my age there. They're probably all about T'Pol now, aren't they? Sigh.

video game download sex: Alas, the time still has not come when one can download sex as a video game. Which is probably just as well for the future of the human race, really.

lifespan of a shiftworker: The lifespan of a shiftworker can be hard to predict. We just keep going until the constant disruption of our circadian rhythms inevitably grinds us down. Or until we fall asleep face-down in a pot of coffee and drown.

ticklish frodo: Hey, now I'm curious. Are Hobbit feet ticklish? I bet they're not, being all thick-soled like that.

Gollum card Happy Birthday my precious: Gollum never, ever, ever forgets to send his precious a card on its birthday.

free porrrrn: Is that, like porn with a Scottish accent? Porn for cats, maybe? (Oooh, how much you wanna bet I start getting hits on "porn for cats," now?)

Bart Simpson's little sister sucks his dick: Lisa says she'll see you in court, you slanderer.

the fifth appendage nude male: I don't want to know what it says about me that, for days my only thought about this was "Hmm, must be looking for Centauri porn."

"i have blepharitis": I'm sorry. It'll probably clear up in a few days, though. Mine did.

gray tube sock fetish: Well, I suppose that's better than having a fetish for something dangerous and expensive...

"googlize me": Oh, googlize yourself.

ticklish tickling armpits insane: Yeah, I suppose maybe you could drive somebody insane if you tickled their armpits long enough.

farscape out of their minds episode addition: Man, there are so many interesting possibilities for additions to that episode.

scientific classification for Parrothead fish: Pisces Jimmybuffetus?

stellar phoenix cracked download: I have no idea what a "stellar phoenix" is, but it sure is poetic. Pity it's cracked, I guess.

teen sneezing fits: Fortunately, teens should be able to open the childproof caps on the allergy medications. Being still, technically, children.

celebrity verbosity: Yep, that's going to be my next stunt to try and jack up this blog's ratings, er, hit count: Celebrity Verbosity! Tune in as celebrity guest bloggers compete against each other for fun and prizes! (Note: celebrities will be impersonated.)

Spiderman Maximum courage girl enemy: I'll let the comics fans in the audience explain this one to me. Come on, don't let me down, guys!

military verbosity: That'll be the next stunt after Celebrity Verbosity: Maximum Verbosity, the Armed Forces Edition

talkie toaster desktop toy buddy: I don't know what this is, but I want one.

las vegas fully nude gentlemen club lists: I've always thought "gentlemen's club" was a bit of a misnomer, really.

"low production value" definition: When you can see the strings, that's low production value.

woodpecker behavior "swamp cooler": My swamp cooler is metal. I'd like to see some woodpecker try and bother it!