In the Name of the Friday Five

1. Is the name you have now the same name that's on your birth certificate? If not, what's changed? Yes, it is.

2. If you could change your name (first, middle and/or last), what would it be? Well, I hate to say this, because I know it always hurts my mother's feelings, but I've never liked my first name. "Betty" has a certain wholesome 1950's homemaker feel to it, somehow, that is just so not me. I would have much preferred being named "Elizabeth," which I then could have shortened as I pleased. I could see myself as a "Liz" quite easily. But, I'm certainly not going to change it now. I'm used to it.

3. Why were you named what you were? (Is there a story behind it? Who specifically was responsible for naming you?) I was named after my grandmother, which is actually kind of confusing, because my grandmother's name is "Marjorie." But she had a twin brother named "William," and, in the grand tradition of Cute Twin Nicknames, they were promptly dubbed "Billy and Betty" as infants, and the name stuck. Everybody's pretty much always known her as "Betty." My mother, by the way, always thought that was really stupid and that you should just name a kid what you were going to call her in the first place, which is why I am a "Betty" and not an "Elizabeth." Well, that and the fact that my mother's middle name is "Elizabeth," and she never liked it because people used to tease her by calling her "Lizard" and stuff. Yeah, like I never got "amusing" variations on "Betty."

4. Are there any names you really hate or love? What are they and why? Nah, not really.

5. Is the analysis of your name at kabalarians.com / triggur.org / astroexpert accurate? How or how isn't it? OK, first of all, we all realize that this name-analysis stuff is complete crackpottery, right? That being understood, let's see what they have to say:

The name of Betty contains within it an intense emotional power that could drive you to put forth great effort to accomplish your ambitions and to do something noteworthy and worthwhile.

Nah, I've never been a particularly ambitious person.

There are humanitarian ideals in this name, making you feel the urge to champion the cause of the downtrodden, the victims of circumstances and injustices.

Ah, like the tireless way I stick up for Stark on Farscape and Vila on Blake's 7!

However, it is difficult for you to materialize your ideals because of a restless, unsettled feeling which causes you never to know just what it is that you should be working toward,

Hmm. That's actually kind of true, I suspect.

and the very intensity of your nature makes systematic concentration and application a challenge.

Actually, I'd say it's the laziness of my nature that does that.

You can have intensely contrasting feelings toward people, either you are fiercely loyal or extremely intolerant. There is rarely a happy medium in your feelings.

Very definitely not true. My feelings toward the vast majority of people consist of a laid-back sort of tolerance that borders on apathy.

Consequently, you experience many disappointments in people, tragedy, and the loss of the very things for which you may be intensely striving. Bitter experiences could make you cynical, critical, and argumentative. You find it difficult to see the brighter or humorous side of a situation.

And, man, those statements couldn't get more wrong if they gave me a personality test and then switched every answer to its exact opposite. It's like an analysis of the evil Mirror Universe me.